The SharePoint 2010 Timer service terminated with service-specific error %%-2147467259

From Mundy
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According to this forum post,

   For anyone else having this issue. The solution is to give access for the user the timer service is running 
   under to the following SP directory. The Admin group has the rights required which is why the issue is 
   resolved for those people who put the account in the machine's admin group which is a bad practice. 
   Ensure the user has the correct permissions on the following SP directory, and see the error go away.

I did this. Let's see if it fixes it. Nope, it didn't.

This other page says that a cache folder inside of Config may not exist. Mine does, but when I tried recreating it, or even just putting a new folder in the Config directory, it didn't behave well.

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